A guide for families struggling with addiction - Author Michael Wilson

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In my book Loving Lions, I openly discuss how families can become “voluntary hostages” to a loved oneʼs addiction - feeling compelled to fix every crisis or shield them from consequences out of fear. Although it might look like genuine help, it can actually lock everyone in a cycle of chaos.

My goal here is to help you recognize that fear-driven dynamic and reclaim a supportive, yet protected, role in your family. This short eBook distills key lessons from the “Voluntary Hostages” chapter of
Loving Lions, plus a bit from“Protecting Yourself,” into actionable steps you can start using today.

BREAKING FREE - “VOLUNTARY HOSTAGE”

Free Download: BREAKING FREE - “VOLUNTARY HOSTAGE”

INTRODUCTION

“Letting go is hard. Letting go of something that really doesnʼt work, but still makes you feel safe, is hard. Letting go of that which works for you for something you have never really experienced is hard… until you actually let go, then it starts to work.”

In Loving Lions, the chapter “Afraid to let go” explores the emotional and mental struggle of releasing what feels safe (even if itʼs destructive) to embrace a new way of life. Often, fear keeps us clinging to the “devil we know.” But the book highlights that once you finally risk letting go, genuine hope and change can emerge.

LETTING GO CHEAT SHEET

Free Download: LETTING GO CHEAT SHEET

What Is the Circle of Chaos?

In Loving Lions, we read about a manipulative cycle called the “Circle of Chaos and Confusion.” It keeps families stuck, constantly putting out fires, chasing new crises, and never getting to the heart of the addiction.

From “I am a lion” - “In order for me to be successful, I will need to make you feel pity, guilt, or responsibility and I will do this by using a multi-layered approach. This is the ‘Circle of Chaos and Confusionʼ… It is a useful tool that prevents family members from successfully challenging me.”

This guide will show you how the circle forms, why it keeps you spinning in conflict, and what first steps you can take to break free—without abandoning the loved one whoʼs struggling.

BREAKING THE CIRCLE OF CHAOS

Free Download: BREAKING THE CIRCLE OF CHAOS

“Without clear boundaries between what you will and wonʼt accept, you cannot expect people to know how you want them to act.”

In the “Protecting yourself” chapter of Loving Lions, I use an analogy about a neighbor who decides to splash around in your pool or let their dog soil your lawn if you never set a property line.

This cheat sheet distills that concept into simple steps for families facing addiction, where drawing a firm “fence” is crucial for everyoneʼs well-being.

Boundaries Cheat Sheet

Free Download: BOUNDARIES CHEAT SHEET

@LovingLions

Loving Lions: A guide for families struggling with addiction

Dear Family: Why Your Loved One Won’t Accept Help and How To Help Them Anyway

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Whether you’re looking for help finding treatment for you or a loved one, inquiring about an intervention for a loved one, or just looking to talk, I’m here to support you. Please complete this form and I’ll follow up with you as soon as possible.

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