@cunooz

cunooz has been a member of Linktree for 5 years and joined in February 2021. The social media accounts linked to from cunooz are: • Instagram • YouTube • Email Besides social media accounts, cunooz has populated their site with: • Weather Conditions Perfect for Making FWOOMP Sound Effect Before Busting Your Ass on Icy Sidewalk • Fall 2026 Application! • Dad Seems to Think He and Your Roommate are “Good Pals” • Check Out Our Website! • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue • Cornell Hunger Relief Stall Oddly Reluctant to Share Candy on Desk at Club Fest • Stickless Big Round Puck Hockey Team Wins Match • Up Your Ass and Around the Corner: Finding your Classroom in Uris Hall – CU Nooz • Frat With No Pledges Handing Out Sad Little Pamphlets Outside Dining Hall Like An A Capella Group • Insufferable Coffee Chat Terminated By Olin Collapse • Academic Adultery? I Swapped Discussion Sections Four Times and Now My Professor is Calling Me a Slut • APPLY HERE • Happy Black History Month! Toni Morrison Hall Replaces Cheese Pizza With “African-Inspired Red Sauce Cheesy Flatbread” for Month of February – CU Nooz • New Sub-Letter Either Kinda Shy or Kinda Gonna Eat You – CU Nooz • Cornell Dining Reveals Secret Ingredient in Vegan Cookies: “It’s butter!” • “What is This Woman Doing in My Matchbox?” Cornell Arsonist Confused by Perfect Match • “Silly Drink Paint Thursdays” Revealed to Be Hazing All Along • Revised Interim Protest Laws Require All Picket Signs to Include “Compliment Sandwich" • Practical Application! Physics Student Recalls “Fg=Mg” Right Before Eating Shit On Icy Sidewalk • Freshman Feels A Little Better Than Home Friends Every Time They Say The Word “Prelim” • OP-ED: If Perfect Match Says I’m Meant To Date Only Freshman Women, Then Who Am I To Question It? • Doing The Robot: Students Sext ChatGPT This Valentine’s Day • Study: Burnout Most Common Among Stupid Kids • When2Meet Fraud? No Way Friendless Outcast Club Member Is Busy on Friday After 8 • Hit-and-Run? Ho Plaza Stoplight Crashes Into Innocent Car, Flees Scene • Student Out Of Neon Yellow Stars Opts For Full Face Of Clown Makeup To Hide Acne • “Need a Hand?” Mann Library Pecker Peeper Reaches Right Over Urinal Divider • Martha Pollack, Giggling Uncontrollably, Orders Clock Tower Re-Reconstruction • Op-Ed: If We’ve Moved an Hour Ahead, Why is My Laundry STILL WET? • Student Assembly President Gets Too into President Cosplay, Begins Coughing Up Dust and Choking on Own Teeth • Phew! Class Crush Gives Ick Just in Time for Drop Deadline • Leprechaun Under Linden Street Sewers Suddenly 30 iPhones Richer • BREAKING: Easily Countable Number of Freshman Larger Than Easily Countable Number of Rooms • Environmentalism Win! Water Fountain has Saved 57i37eN.0 Bottles of Water • Evil Professor To Teach All Classes in Your Major, Minor, and Distribution Requirements Next Semester • NOOZ VIEWS: CU Nooz Editorial Board Endorses Folk/Bluegrass Category on Slope Day Survey • “All class materials are included in CAMP,” Says Professor About to Make You Pay $75 for Their Textbook “Historiography of Antidisestablishmentarianism in Bovine Bookshelves Across Diasporic Communities” • Ann Coulter to Reminisce About the Good Ol’ Days When Only White People Booed Her Off Stage • Senior Days 2024 To Go Fully Virtual, For Old Times’ Sake • Unhoused Sophomore Unable to Sing Along to Flo Rida’s “My House” • Automatic Toilet Decides You Are Done Shitting Now • Morrison Dining Petitions Cornell for Increased Funding After Spending Over Half the Budget on Windex • Pathetic Zeus Visitor Not Good Enough for Pristine Marble Table, Exiled to Weak Little Wooden Bench • Brace Faced Nerd Clocktower to Wear Headgear All Summer • Ann Coulter Rejects Freedom of Expression Ice Cream Flavor, Argues It Has “Too Much Chocolate” • Student Receives Journal and Therapy, Stops Writing for Daily Sun Opinion Section • “It’s Been the Best Four Years of My Life!” Admitted Student Tour Guides Notably Excluded From Freedom of Speech Protections • Cornell Outdoor Education Lends Tents, Tarps to Admitted Students • Nooz Explains: How To Sneak Your Homeless Goldfish into Level B • “Then Came Locusts, Vermin, and Wild Beasts!” Says Review of Collegetown Apartment • CU Nooz Editorial Board Endorses John McNair (Sophomore, Forest Hills High School) for Model UN Secretary General • “One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy,” Says Frat Pledge Assigned to Clean up Infinite Sand After Tropical-Themed Party • OpaVote? Hell Yeah, I Love Gangnam Style! • Local Sicko Runs for Campus Villain Position • President Pollack Closes Eyes, Plugs Ears, Goes “La La La, I can’t hear you!” • Cornell Football Player Drafted to NFL Proves that Coaches Should Be Tested for Brain Damage Too • “GET ON THE GROUND AND BEG LIKE THE DOG YOU ARE!” Most Merciful Chem Professor Grants Extra Credit Opportunity • No One’s Buying It, Dumbass! Idiot Supersenior Claims He’ll Still Be On Campus Next Year Because He’s Getting A “Masters Degree” • “Beep Boop Beep,” Sentient Robot Only Speaks Robot • Freshman from England Used to Eating Inedible Food • OP-ED: Fuck, Time to Scrap That “Worker’s Rights” Theme Year • Flo Rida Gets Spun Right Round Baby Right Round Trying to Find Way Out of ILR Building – CU Nooz • Guy Who Spent All Semester Watching 2x Speed Lecture Recordings Just Talks Like That Now • Interim President Kotlikoff Relishing Opportunity to Get His Hands in a Big Heap of Tofu and Cauliflower • Cornell-UAW Agreement Includes COLA, Though Water Might Have Been a Healthier Option • Band Member Joins A Cappella Group, Makes New, Different Noises • Please, I’m So Hungry: CU Print on Page 3 out of 11 • Freshman Roommate Shows True Colors, Suddenly “Not A Fan” Of Chain-Smoking • New Top Load Washers Claim First Victim • “Come Down Here and Scan our QR Code!” Cornell Kidnapping Club Grabs Several New Members at ClubFest • “I Have Concepts of a Plan”: Trump Scrambles to Outline Essay • “You Probably Wouldn’t Have Heard About It,”: Cool Students Hold Niche, Indie Vigil for Green Dragon Closure • Skateboarder In Front of Milstein Hopes No One Saw That • “Have You Considered Applying to Jobs?” Career Advisor Gives Helpful Advice • Happy Fall! Cornell Financial Aid Debuts New Pumpkin Spice-Themed Loan Increase • Rescheduled Career Fair to Feature Only the Benevolent Arms-Producing Mega-Corporations • Rest Well, Soldier: Shampoo Bottle Lets Out Final Squirt • In Stunning Development for Bipartisanship, Cornell Dems and Cornell Republicans Each Agree to “Only Have Two Women” • “Mark Robinson Was Busy,” Cornell Republicans Explain Decision to Invite Ben Shapiro to Campus • “Look! Apples!” Cornell Football Creates Diversion Upon Realizing Homecoming Game Will Have Spectators • Uh Oh! Friend Immediately Agreeing to Plan Might Be a Loser • Expressive Activity Policy Updated with Provisions for “Acceptable White Hood Size” and “Torch Specifications” • Cornell’s Commitment to Sustainability: Flu Shot Clinics to Reuse Needles, Bandages • Op-Ed: I’m Not Sure Which “They” Marjorie Taylor Greene is Talking About, But I’m Glad She Supports the Nonbinary Community • Op-Ed: If You Had a Creepy Skeleton Son That Won’t Stop Growing, You’d Advocate For Abortion Rights Too • Op-Ed: Discrimination? 104West! Won’t Serve Me Food Today • Natural Selection? Slowest Freshman in Pack Trampled by Cornell Run Club • Clueless Dumbass Wearing Jacket, Doesn’t Know It Will Be 80 Degrees In An Hour • ‘I Realize This Is, in Some Sense, Theater’: Model UN Participant Garners Semblance of Self-Awareness • Very Hungry Friend Sets Up Hammock Vertically, Does Not Emerge • Modern Medical Marvel? Last Living Smallpox Patient Seated Right Next to You in Lecture • Report: Vitamin D Supplements Doing Little to Hinder Bleak, Hopeless Future • Brain Break! Reading Contains Graph Full of Important Information • Help! I Got My Flu Shot at the Vet School and Now I’m Neighing Like a Horse on Anabolic Steroids • Ben Shapiro Stirs Up Hydrophobic Allegations After Swallowing Motor Oil to Make Voice Extra Squeaky • “Can I be Gru?” Asks Short, Yellow, One-Eyed Friend with No Self-Awareness • Illegal Canadian Immigrants Descend on Lynah Rink Thanks to Josh Riley’s Open Border Policy • Please Take One! Frat Leaves Basket of Zyns on Doorstep for Early Recruitment of Trick-or-Treaters • Least Favorite Friend Stuck as Wonker Bell the Gray, Bland Fairy for Halloween • “Hot, Single 19 Year Old, Down For Hand Stuff” Costume Really Popular Among Divorced Dads • Nation Fails GOVT 2024: Democracy in Action • Engineer Studies In Statler Library To Microdose Having Fun in College • Op-Ed: Frat Won’t Let Me into Halloweekend Party Even Though I Can Name Dahmer, Bundy, and All 45 of Their Victims • Kotlikoff Claims “You Can Fit A Turkey Up There”, Vague About What “There” Means • Carbon Fiber Tricycle, Autonomous Chair, and 6 Other Trailblazing Student Projects That Need Your Blood, Sweat, and Tears To Succeed – CU Nooz • Campus Bugs Rejoice, Gather At Ho Plaza Light Fixtures • Uh oh! Amelia Bedelia-like Friend to Bring “Hand-Stuffed Turkey” to Friendsgiving • “Consider a Man’s Life Situated on a Frictionless, Downward Plane”: Physics Professor Not Handling His Divorce Well • EDITORIAL: Please God, Let The Daily Sun Go Bankrupt So We Can Buy Them • Josh Riley (6’6”) Defeats Marc Molinaro (5’8”) • “Next Stop, Binghamton!” OurBus Trip Goes South • Cornell Procrastination Club Holds First GBody • Friend Complaining About Racist Uncle at Thanksgiving Clearly Doesn’t Have Uncle Taking Up the Tuba • Op-Ed: I Don’t Have Anxiety I Just Have the Bestest Heart that Beats the Fastest Forever • “A Date Which Will Live in Infamy”: Student Bombs Prelim • Linda The Kids Miss You Come Back: My Ex-Wife Look Alike Contest Announced • OP-ED: Hey Ryan, So Like Now That You’re On Sabbatical, I Was Wondering If You’d Like To Maybe Hang Out Sometime Soon? We Can Grab Coffee On Friday Haha. I’m Sort Of Behind On Rent So If You Could Pay That Would Be Cool • “If you love something, set it free,” Student Deletes App Just Downloaded for Free Donut • FWS On “Socioeconomic Impacts Of 19th Century French Colonialism” Surprisingly Not As Fun As FWS On “Watching Movies With Joyous Whimsy” • New Flo “Wrapped” Feature to Detail Top Five Pregnancy Scares of 2024 • DEI? Cornell Republicans Obtain Tall, Attractive Member • Big Red Food Court Excited to Adjudicate First Culinary Case • Cornell Union Busting Allegations Assuaged by 4–1 Hockey Loss • United States Pulls Out of Global Weather Cycle • Top Consulting Clubs Welcome Next Generation of Highly Qualified Donut Salesmen • Girls Night! Gaggle of Amorphous Puffer Jackets Mobilizes Toward Level B • “Put Me In, Coach!” Zeus Patron Benched • Birder Aboard Doomed Plane Gleefully Identifies Species of Goose Flying Into Engine • Pope Sick • Whoa, Buster! Bundle of Big Sporty Fellows in Dining Hall Sure Are Hungry • Guy Working in Department of Job Stability and Secure Income Starting to Get a Bit Worried • New Sun Column “Abstinence on Mondays” Facing Backlash From Cornell Republicans Who Practice Abstinence Daily • Hack-a-thon? Retching CS1110 Classmate Definitely Has a Hairball – CU Nooz • Student’s Life Not as Put Together as iPad with Little Stylus Implies • Hiring Freeze! Everybody Clap Your Hands! • History Professor Displaced by McGraw Renovation Hosts Office Hours at West Campus Frat House Darty • Esteemed NYT Crossword Clue Rita Ora to Headline Slope Day – CU NoozEsteemed NYT Crossword Clue Rita Ora to Headline Slope Day • University Establishes Tusk Force to Buy a Bunch of Really Cool Elephants • Robert Frost Takes No Winter Maintenance Road, Eats Shit • Local Deviant Rolls in Mud Alone, Unprovoked • “Wow, Everything’s Computer”: Trump Learns Size of Cornell Info Sci Program • Report: ‘Interim’ Boyfriend Still Unlikely to Go Official • Hundreds of Miscreant Agitators Occupying Arts Quad Without Activity Permit • Collegetown Driver Pulls Lever, Changes Course to Hit One Pedestrian instead of Usual Five • New GoFundMe Started By An “M. Kotlikoff” Sets Ambitious Goal of $1 Billion • “Let My People Go”: Pharaonic Professor Still Lecturing Three Minutes After Class Ended • Functional Olin Library Renovation Optimizes Space for Students to Wander Around in Search of Empty Seat • Two Birds, One Stone! Jerry from Craigslist Booked as Slope Day Headliner, Convocation Speaker • L-DOC? My Final Essay Fucking Sucks – CU Nooz • Despotic Senior Declines to Answer Whether They’ll Seek Third Term as Club President • In Historic Show of Power, Student Assembly Votes to Politely Ask for More Power • Girl Power! Group of Girlies Take Elevator Up to 7th Floor of Olin • EDITORIAL | Nooz Will Endorse You For Student Assembly, Dependent On How Willing You Are To Push Our Interests • “Hi, Mind If We Ask You a Quick Question?” Admitted Student’s Family Member Somehow Inside of Your Room • Higher Education Under Attack? My Eyes Itch and I Can’t See the Board • Circle of Elders Regales Freshmen With Stories of the Before-Times When the Clocktower Was Free • Colin Joust to Headline Cornell Renaissance Faire • OP-ED: Pwease Mistuh Pwofessuh Don’t Mark Me Absent My Pwivate Pwane Got In Really Really Late Last Night • Nooz Explains: 15 Exciting Ways to Set Off the Fire Alarm at 2:30 in the Goddamn Morning • Hunt for Arts Quad Buried Treasure Unsuccessful So Far • “What Are You Talking About? Slope Day Just Happened”: Administration Tries New Tactic After Failing to Source Replacement Artist • Rest of Sesame Street Crew Also Forced to Live in Trash Cans After PBS Defunding • Construction Workers Declare Occupation Of Libe Slope As Clock Tower Fences Expand Into New Territory • Foolish Idiot 12-Year-Old Hasn’t Started Thinking About Junior Year Collegetown Lease • “And What Big Teeth You Have!” Roommate Looks Different Following Coyote Disappearance • “I’m Going to Butcher These Names”: Professor Selects Students for Slaughter • New Roommates Still Figuring Out Masturbation Schedule • Mononucleosis Researcher Calls for Release of Epstein-Barr Phials • “Hey! Do You Hate Your Life Too?”: Project Team Gauges Interest • Divine Roommate Overlord Compels Subordinate Rent-payers To Sign the “72 Commandments of 901 College Ave Apt-1” – CU Nooz • Fourth Info Session Paints Club in Totally New Light • Student in Suit Evaluates, Judges Slightly Younger Student in Suit • Collegetown Housewarming Party Lukewarm at Best • 18-Year-Old’s Passion for Synergy Really Comes Through in Club Application • Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe= • Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition • CU Nooz Application Fall 2024 - APPLY!